


White Noise

by SpookDaddyThanatos



Category: South Park
Genre: Major Character Injury, Major Original Character(s), Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, OC, Original Character(s), Other, POV First Person, Suicide Attempt, south park - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-31 10:18:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13972962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookDaddyThanatos/pseuds/SpookDaddyThanatos
Summary: White noise. That's all anyone has heard from me since that day.---------------------This is a story centered around an OC!!! There will be some hints of other ships in between but it will mostly revolve around the OC!!!





	1. Twelve years...

**Author's Note:**

> This is an original work centered around an original character! Please read and enjoy, since it will have some small bit of stuff you're probably looking for as well!

Twelve years... One hundred and forty-four months... Four thousand one hundred and seventy-six days... One hundred thousand two hundred and twenty-four hours... Six million thirteen thousand four hundred and forty minutes... Three hundred and sixty million eight hundred and six thousand four hundred seconds of white noise. For twelve years that's all anyone has ever heard from me. White noise. Who would have thought that it would end up like this? That I would be transferred from a life full of voice and sound to one of silence and just white noise... 

I was born and raised in the northern area of Wales, in the town of Gwynedd. Well, more specifically, in the village of Portmeirion. It was always a peaceful place to be, always bubbling with activity and movement. It was a huge tourist spot, so of course, I grew up in large crowds and loud noise. There were also great places to go swimming there, and if you were looking for a place to get a good rush and feel the adrenaline pumping through our veins, you could go cliff jumping. It was a dangerous game, of course, but it was how my sisters and brother used to entertain themselves, especially when they were younger. When you're young, you were always looking for ways to get down and dirty and get that cheap rush. I guess that's why so many children enjoy amusement parks and such. I was never a fan. We never had anything like growing up so there was never the insatiable need to go. My siblings and I learned to live without it. We did other stuff, like fishing and baking and singing up on the cliffs. One of my sisters had the most beautiful voice, like an angel Mum used to say. She should learn to cherish it more. Sometimes we'd spend all day up on the cliffs, throwing rocks into the waters and scaring away large flocks of birds to watch them fly off into the sky. Of course, it was the hardest to come down. It was a steep climb up, and an even steeper climb down. Most of the times we'd just...jump down into the water. It was faster and it saved our feet and knees from poison oak and other pesky bumps and scrapes. The only thing was that when we went down, we never knew if we would come back up. Because of that reason was why I never jumped. I was scared, and I had the right to be. If you landed too close to the edge, you were a goner. Of course, if you landed too far out in the water the impact would leave you aching and cause you to struggle to swim back to shore. I took the long way down in favor of itchy rashes and throbbing scrapes other than the fear of going down and just never surfacing. I remember our parents used to always get so angry when my siblings would turn up covered in moss and soaked to the bone while I had leaves and twigs in my hair with dirt and mud to my knees. Not to mention the bloody elbows and burned palms from slipping and sliding down the hills and paths. I was only four at the time, with my siblings being much older than I was. Mum used to scold them for leaving me to come down on my own, and they would watch as she would coddle me and clean me up, giving me candies and such so I would stop crying. No wonder they hated me. Eventually, it got to the point to where they wouldn't even tell me when they were going up to the cliffs to save themselves from the lecture. Now that I'm older I understand why, of course back then I would cry when I found out they went without me, so Mum would still get mad at them about that. Man, they just couldn't win. Whenever I would go with them they'd egg me on to jump and call me names whenever I refused. They did this for months.

The day I finally jumped is one I'll never forget. It was April 10th, my fifth birthday. My family was on the cliffs, my mum onshore and my dad and siblings swimming and jumping from the cliffs, just like any old normal day. It was getting dark, and we were going to head back to have cake and let me open presents. Any child would have been on edge with excitement. I was sitting with Mum, kicking around in the shallow waters and watching as the blurry masses of the rest of my family fell into the water, creating large splashes and ripples that disrupted the natural stillness of the water.

"Come on now, it's getting late! We need to head back!" My mum's silky voice called to them, picking up the blankets and towels that were strewn about the shore.

"Just one more time, Ma?" My eldest brother, Myles, asked as came to shore. She shook her head and laughed softly, which always meant okay.

My siblings laughed and cheered, all starting to ascend the cliff again. My father stayed back to help my mum pack up. I watched them leave, and after months of teasing, I was done feeling the hot wave of shame come over me, so I went with them. 

"Why are you coming, Pipsqueak? You're not gonna jump, are you?" My brother teased, pushing me. 

"Oh leave him alone!" Julianna, my sister who was closest to my age, defended me bravely. I was grateful for it. Usually, she was just quiet.

I didn't say anything, but man do I wish I did. I remember getting to the top and looking over. I felt dizzy at the sight. We looked almost a hundred feet above the water. My brother scoffed.

"Get out of the way, Smallfry." He said and pushed me out of the way and took a few steps back before he ran and jumped off the cliff. He only fell for a second or two before we heard him hit the water. 

My sisters were next. They always seemed to go in the same order, the order we were born in. First Myles, then Angie, and finishing with Julianna. All of them only seemed to fall for a bit before they hit the water. Then I was left, standing alone and cold as the wind whipped me and stung my skin. It was now or never, and looking back on it I wish it was never. There was one thing all my siblings did that I didn't do that night, and that was they got a running start. They would all go back to the same tree root, which my brother had carved the word 'Start' into with a knife he'd stolen from my uncle. I remember when he did it. He told us to always go back to there and then just run off, then he demonstrated. But I didn't do that. I stood on the end of the cliff, looking down at the water and watching as my siblings swam to shore. I remember looking behind me, and I saw Myles, and I heard him, laughing. He was making fun of me, and the girls were there doing it too... But I'd just seen them in the water below me, hadn't I? The last thing I remember was backing off the cliff, thinking that if I didn't see it coming then I wouldn't be so scared. I remember falling down, down, down. I fell for much longer than I thought I would. I hit the water, and I hit it hard. After I hit...well I don't remember what happened after that. My mum tells me I didn't come back up, and my dad had to get me. She also said that Myles had never felt worse. 

The last thing I remember was waking up in a white room. White walls, white sheets, white machines, and white noise. I swallowed hard, my eyes tearing up instantly and I started to cry, silently. I was alone in the noise. The beeping, the whirring of machines, everything. My head hurt. That's all I knew. It was dark outside, and I cried for hours until I fell asleep. When I woke up, my mother was there. She was talking to a man in white. They were talking quietly, and I couldn't hear them. She covered her mouth, and let out a sob. 

'Momma...?' My mouth moved, but nothing came out. I tried again.

'Momma?!' I shouted. Still nothing.

I got scared. The heart monitor spiked and I started to cry again, and I screamed and cried, trying to say something but nothing ever came. I remember screaming so hard I threw up in my lap. My throat was on fire and the nurses cleaned me up as I cried. My mom just watched. She too was crying. She couldn't bear to stay in the room with me. She didn't come back, but my dad did. He sat down on the bed, stroking my hand. His words shook me to my very core.

"Hey, Bud..." He started. "I have something to tell you... You, well you hit your head pretty hard... and there was damage." He swallowed hard and looked away. "It... you..."

I didn't understand what he meant at the time, but after a day, I understand fully what had happened. When I hit the water, I hit my head on the rocks below, which caused brain damage and made it to where I couldn't speak anymore. That leap I made in hopes of changing my relationship with my siblings ended up changing my relationship with my entire family. It made it to where they started having to make revisions to everything they did just to make sure it would accompany my needs. Myles and my sisters couldn't jump from the cliffs anymore, and whenever they went out they had to go with my dad as my mum stayed behind to care for me. I didn't even get to go to school because of my newfound disability. I was homeschooled with my mom. It was hard, having to watch as my family was torn apart by this. 

As I grew up, things only got worse. Myles slipped into drugs and eventually ODed in the bathroom at a friends house. That really destroyed my mum. She cried for months over it, and I had to stand by and watch because I knew that no matter what thoughts came to mind no one could hear them. I locked myself up in my room most of the times, and my sisters never came out either. I started to realize that because of me, my family would never be the same. When Angie graduated high school she moved out, and it was only my parents, Julianna and I. Wales soon became a place of darkness and tragedy. Finally, my mother made the executive decision to move. She found a quiet mountain town in Colorado to move to. It was all the way across the ocean. As much as I didn't want to go, despite all the hard memories, I went anyway. 

Now here we are, on my seventeenth birthday, exactly twelve years after the accident, in a quiet mountain town in the middle of Colorado, USA, moving into a basic two-story home on a street full of other basic two-story homes. Not only that, I was starting my Junior year at the high school down the road because with the move, my family decided it would be best to get a new start entirely. Now it was just the matter of visiting the school to register. It was two months into the school year already, too.

"Name?" The counselor asked.

"Jason Blaine." My mother answered, commentating over the funky hand movements I made to voice my name myself. 

I didn't have a voice, all I had were the signs. The signs that no one knew how to speak, so every time I tried to make myself heard all they hear is the sound of my skin rubbing against skin or the fabric that hides the pain and shame that I've lived with all these years. They can't hear my voice anymore or understand my words. All they can hear is meaningless symbols and white noise.


	2. Chapter 2

"Jason Blaine, 'mkay..." The counselor typed on the computer. 

He was an odd man... His head looked too large for his body, and his voice was strained. Maybe he was a smoker at one point? His speech impediment was pretty funny. I watched through the orange lenses of my goggles as his bony fingers tapped away. My goggles weren't the strangest thing I wore. Everything about me was out of place. Since I didn't have any way for anyone to hear me, I thought they might as well see me instead. The more people forgot I was there due to my silence, the brighter and stranger I began to dress. Nothing I wore every matched because if I wore matching clothes I would probably give someone eye problems for the rest of their life. I mean, I've always gravitated more to fluorescent colors and gaudy patterns. However, one thing that had never changed was my interest in music. All kinds of music fascinated me, but I am always drawn to EDM. I don't know why, but something about the feeling I got whenever the beat would drop kept me feeling awake and alive. I've struggled with trying to feel normal for most of my life, but music was the one thing that brought the feeling to me without any repercussions. I started to listen to EDM music when I was twelve which was when it really started to become known. Pretty soon after that, I started trying to mix my own music. I started off slow, you know, remixing songs with basic beat drops and things that every mediocre mixing program had to offer. It wasn't until I turned fifteen would my ability really take off. That Christmas, my mum bought my sister and me one big thing, and mine was something called a launchpad. It was a grid-like pad with a whole bunch of buttons and layers of sound to make and perform music with. Not only that, but it came with a free program to compose the music and program the pad! And this wasn't just any basic program, no, this was one that the big boys used! I didn't leave the basement for two days, apparently. 

Speaking of the basement, that was the one place where I spent most of my time. Not because my family was ashamed of having a son who was mute or looked like a damn Crayola highlighter, but because it was the one place where I felt safe and welcomed. Down there I was able to sit down at my computer, put my headphones on, and just get lost in the music. Even today I still find myself spending hours, maybe even days, down in the basement because of how lost I get in composing. Music was my life, and it still is actually. You know, I heard this school had a great music program, but something that it didn't have was a dance team. What kind of school didn't have a dance team? They only had cheerleaders apparently. I was only a hobby dancer *and even then I never do it anymore), but dance team performances were always some of my favorites to watch. This school confused me. They didn't really seem to care about what was going on with their students. Even on the way to the office, I caught a glimpse of some of the classrooms and the teachers didn't even seem to care what their students were doing. It gives me anxiety to think that the staff is so incompetent. 

I tried to distract myself by looking around the office some more. There were photos and newspaper clippings strung up on cork boards and framed on shelves. Most of them were just photos of him at different places or with different celebrities, you know, the typical office. One of the things that caught my attention though was that his certificate of completion of his training was out of date. Great. That really put me at ease. The only one on this campus who could help if I had an attack isn't even properly trained in what he was supposed to be dealing with the problems high schoolers were having nowadays. I sigh to myself, looking out the window instead. I started to space out, and my mind ran on its own.

"Jason." My mum said, snapping her fingers a few times. "Are you even paying attention?" She asked.

I look over, and I nodded simply. 'Yes Ma'am.' I signed.

She gave a small sigh and smiled. "Mr. Mackey said he arranged for some students to help show you around, doesn't that sound fun?"

I stiffened, all my joints locking up as I heard what she said. Students, already?! No, they wouldn't understand me. How could they understand me if I can't even speak! They're going to think I'm some sort of dick who doesn't want to be talked to. My mum must have sensed my fear because she pulled me close and whispered in my ear.

"You'll do fine... Just smile and nod." She kissed my forehead.

My cheeks flushed and I nodded slowly. The three of us stood up and went out into the hallway, where three students sat on a bench outside waiting. One was a girl, with long raven hair and a purple pallet to her. She smiled warmly, her cheeks had a slight tint of pink, like a natural flush. I liked her pants though. They were a bright dandelion yellow. Another was a boy with a crooked smile and a lazy eye along with ragged chestnut hair. He was on crutches, and he had spindly legs. His shirt matched the girl's pants. The last one was another girl. She was a bit more heavy set compared to the other wither girl, and her pale brown hair hung to her mid back. She had a spring pallet to her.

"Jason, this is Wendy, Jimmy, and Heidi, 'mkay." The counselor introduced them to me. "Wendy is the student body president, Jimmy runs the school paper, and Heidi is the leader of our Inter-Act club, 'mkay?"

Wendy was the one with the black hair. Jimmy was the one on crutches. Heidi was the heavier girl. Got it.

"Nice t-to meet 'cha J-J-Jason!" Jimmy greeted me first. His stutter was interesting. I smiled softly. Wendy stuck her hand out to me.

"I'm glad to be able to show you around." She said, and I hesitantly shook her hand. She had a firm grip, which I wasn't expecting one bit. The last girl, Heidi, didn't say anything.

"Well, let's get a move on." She said, seeming more aggressive than the other two.

"Don't mind her, Jason," Wendy told me softly and they started to walk off. 

I swallowed hard and glanced at my mum, who only nodded with a faint smile. I took a deep breath and followed them. Wendy seemed to be the main tour guide, who was narrating the halls and literally pointing out everything. Heidi didn't seem to want to be there at all. I remember what Wendy told me and I didn't pay much attention to her. The more we walked through the winding halls, the more my anxiety grew. I started to think about what I would do. My mind was racing, when my thoughts were suddenly cut off by Jimmy's shaken voice.

"S-So Jason, what w-with the g-g-geehhh...ge-geeh...G-Get up?" He asked, seeming to have trouble getting certain words out. It was actually kind of funny. Wait. He asked me a question... I didn't know how to answer! 

I started to panic. I wanted to answer, I just didn't know how to go about it. I could feel their eyes on me, and it wasn't until then that I realized I'd stopped walking. I looked around the halls, and I spotted a poster on the wall about getting more connected as a school and links to follow the school's social media pages. What school had a social media page? Why the hell would they need one? Wait, my phone! I could type it out. I smiled and held up a finger, slipping the device out of my pocket and rapidly typing out a response on a notes app. I typed out the final words before I turned the screen to them for them to read.

'It's kind of what I feel the most comfortable in. It's a long story, but let us just say I really like standing out in a crowd.' 

Wendy seemed more interested in it, and Jimmy seemed satisfied with the answer. I put my phone away moments before I was prompted with another question, but this time from Heidi.

"Why the hell didn't you just tell us? You didn't have to write it out on your phone you dumbass." 

The happiness I'd once felt melted away. The smile on my face melted and I looked down. The staff must not have told them about my problem... I simply looked down and I gave a small gesture to signal to Wendy to just keep going. She seemed to understand that I wanted to move on and she cleared her throat.

"Anyway! We're coming up on the cafeteria. It's lunchtime, so I'm guessing you don't want to go in there just yet since basically, the entire school is in there." She said and laughed softly.

She had that right. I didn't want to be anywhere near anyone else from the school. Not because I didn't like them, at least I had an idea about how many students were actually dicks in this school based off of the three I was talking with now (which is about one in three...) The rest of the tour went on fine, I'd say. I listened to Jimmy talk about some of the crazy things that have happened during the year so far, as well as Wendy spewing more about the history of the school. Eventually, we wound up back at the counselor office. My mum was finishing up the rest of the paperwork and sorting out ways on how to deal with my disability in the classroom. She shook Mr. Mackey's hand and turned to me with a smile. I turned to the other three and I held up my hand, closing it into a fist. To my surprise, Wendy seemed to have some level of understanding of what I meant. Jimmy smiled at me and Heidi seemed disinterested with it. I dropped my hand and turned back to my mom, who put a hand on my shoulder. 

"We'll see you back here tomorrow, Jason, 'mkay?" Mr. Mackey said, and I nodded. 

My mother and I walked down the hall to the front doors, and we stepped out just in time. Right when we did the bell rang and students flooded out of the cafeteria and other classrooms. I caught a glimpse of the sea of color that flowed through the halls before the large metal doors slammed shut with a loud bang. 

"Jason, come on Dear." My mom called and I looked back at her. She was several feet in front of me now. I jogged to catch up with her.

The car ride back to the house was full of her telling me what they'd talked about while I was off with Wendy and the other two. She said that I wouldn't have to answer questions in class because of the fact that I was mute, and I'd also be excused from giving presentations in class. The fact that I didn't have to present made me feel better because I was already imagining the looks on everyone's faces if I did have to give speeches and such. I wasn't able to talk much until we got home since my mother could only understand me if she was able to see me directly so she could read the sign language. 

When we did get home, she and I sat down at the table so she and I could talk. My father was out looking for a job and my sister was exploring the town. She was twenty-one now, and she was going to college in Denver, which was about an hour or so away from the town we are staying in. My mom was bobbing a teabag in a cup of hot water, and I was blowing on a cup of hot chocolate. 

"So, Jace, how were the other kids?" She asked me, taking a small sip from her cup. I hated it when she called me that. I don't know why I did, I just... did. It's just embarrassing, I guess. I simply shrugged at her question.

'Wendy and Jimmy were nice. Heidi was kind of a bitch.' I moved my arms, careful not to hit the table or the cup.

"Jason! That's rude! Watch your mouth!" She scolded me for using such language. That's another thing that she did that I couldn't stand. Phrases like 'watch your mouth' and 'your tone of voice' really got on my nerves. It only further reminded me of what I didn't have but I could have had if I hadn't been so stupid.

'Anyway...' I continued, 'The school is a lot bigger than it seems. I hope I don't get lost.' 

"Oh Jason, you won't get lost." My mum laughed, and she drank her tea.

I glanced away and rapped my nails on the cup, lifting it and taking a drink. It was warm and extra chocolatey. Just the way I liked it. My mom and I talked for a bit longer before my dad came home. He seemed to be in a really bad mood. I pouted slightly and put my headphones on, pressing the play button on the side. My head was flooded with loud banging and deep, shaking bass that I felt in my chest. I relaxed, taking the cup and going downstairs to my safe space. The basement. I'd gotten really good at reading the atmosphere and knowing when I needed to leave, and whenever my dad was in a bad mood was always one of the biggest signs. I flicked on the lights, setting the cup down on a ledge. I sighed, setting my phone next to the cup as I got to work. I needed to make this basement just like the one I spent so much time in back at Wales. I looked down at the boxed that were labeled with my own, sharp and angular, handwriting. I knelt down and I tore open the tape to the largest one, flipping open the flimsy flaps and pulling out a large, folding table top which was quickly followed by the legs of the table. With some quick assembly, I was finally able to start setting up my precious computer. I started with the basic pieces, you know, the monitors and the speakers until finally, I got to the heart. The tower. I tore the box open and pulled it out, wiping the packing peanuts off the top and the ones stuck on the sides. I slid it under the table and began with the wires. I'm grateful for my mom telling me to organize and label all the cords instead of just throwing them in the boxes since it made the whole process much easier. Once I was finished I stood back and admired my work. It wasn't half bad! Now that my computer was done, it was time to get decorating. I started to unpack the rest of the boxes we had available to us at the moment (there were more on the way). I strung up lights and put up lamps with colored shades that made the room bright and colorful, just how everything should always be! Blinding and colorful. I sighed, sitting back in the computer chair as my playlist started to come to an end. I closed my eyes, relaxing and enjoying the rest of the song. That is until I felt as my goggles were pulled forward and released, which sent them painfully snapping back into my face. I jolted upright and I yanked my headphones down.

"Hey, Sleepyhead. I like what you've done with the place." My sister, Julianna, stood in front of me.

'You're back early.' 

"I got back three hours ago, soon after Dad did." She laughed, using some of the empty boxes to sit herself up on. 

She really was a pretty lady. She looked a lot like my mom, with long blonde hair and pale skin. Freckles dotted her skin and they contrasted well with her bright green eyes. She was thin and shapely, and that's as far as I'm gonna go. She is my sister after all... Her hair was tied up in one of those Instagram worthy bow hairstyles. Small wisps stuck out here and there but they added to the aesthetic of it all. That was one of her greatest features. Our entire family was blonde, well, except me. I was naturally, but I preferred to dye it a fluorescent magenta-red. My parents didn't like the first time I did it, but they soon decided it wasn't the worst thing I could do to myself. I took good care of my hair though, so if it wasn't for the odd color, you wouldn't even know it was dyed.

"Your roots are starting to show." My sister laughed, pulling me closer to peer at the platinum blonde that was starting to show near my scalp. Jeez, it was like she was reading my mind.

'I'll dye it later! It's not like I can do much about it right now. Besides, it's not that bad yet.' I pushed her off of me and she laughed.

"Anyway, dinner is ready." She said and went back upstairs. 

I watched her go and I sighed, pulling off my goggles and sticking them on top of my head, grabbing my phone and the cup of not so hot chocolate and following her up the steps. I strolled into the kitchen, where we all sat at the table and my mom served us. The dinner was full of idle chat and such. My dad and I didn't talk much, but my sister told us great stories about what she'd encountered throughout town. She told us about how she stopped in at a coffee shop and had one of the best cups of coffee she'd ever had. I'd never really liked coffee much, but my sister was always a huge fan. 

"Coffee is bad for you, Julianna. Be careful with how much you drink." My father grunted. He'd never really approved of the things she did.

Julianna shook her head and moved on. By now, I was helping my mother clean up the kitchen and the table. My sister continued to ramble and my father listened. I felt bad for him. Ever since my brother passed, he no longer had anyone to bond with. He and I didn't get along very well because of the accident, and he disapproved of my interest in the arts. I watched them sadly and my mom gently rubbed my back. 

"Don't worry Sweetheart... He'll be better tomorrow..." She whispered and I smiled lightly, continuing to clean up with her.

Our family dispersed not far along after we finished cleaning. My sister and I were sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels. She was my best friend. We really only had each other. I shouldn't mention this, but Mum and Dad's marriage has been on the rocks ever since Myles passed and even worse so since Angie left. We landed on a random channel, watching a rerun of a show called Red Racer. It caught my eye, but it didn't hold it long as there was a sharp dinging that we traced back to our doorbell. Julianna and I looked over at the door in interest, and my mum came rushing down the stairs. She opened the door and was met with a family of four. The mother was tall and thin, and she had a choppy pixie cut. The dad looked like a mechanic, but the tag on his shirt said he worked at a scientific workplace of some kind. They had two kids, and upon seeing them made me scared. Much like at the school, new people made me uncomfortable, especially people my age. The daughter seemed more tomboyish, and the son seemed like a typical jock. Needless to say, my mother invited them in. I sprung up from the couch and retreated to the kitchen, but the family was lead back into the kitchen. Fuck. I was trapped. I swallowed hard and tried to preoccupy myself with something but it didn't seem to work. Their son kept looking at me. I met his eyes, and I quickly slipped from the kitchen. Yes~ I was home free! Or, so I thought... 

"Jason, Hun, where are you going?" My mother called back to me. 

I froze and bit my lip. I slowly turned and walked back into the kitchen, hanging my head. My sister joined me, supplying me with some much needed moral support. Apparently, they'd been talking along the way, as my mom and their mom seemed to already be like best friends. 

"Jason, Julianna, these are the Marshes. They live right across the street." Our mother said. 

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Marsh." My sister greeted them. I hesitantly lifted my hand to my brow in a salute and flicked my wrist out in a slicing motion, or in simpler words, I signed 'Hello' to them.

"Hello, you two. Uhm, this is our son, Stan, and our daughter, Shelly." Their father said. 

"Sup," Stan said. Yep, a typical guy.

"Hey," Shelly muttered before going back to texting.

The four of us were sat down in the living room and our parents went to go talk, my mom and their mom, whose name I learned was Sharon, chatted over a cup of tea. Our fathers talked over a beer. It was awkward. Really awkward. Neither of the other two seemed to want to talk, so my sister and I spoke to each other from across the room in signs. We kept our movements small, not wanting to draw too much attention to ourselves. The only reason I was so at ease during this was because I realized early on that in this situation I could have my headphones on the entire time and not need to pay attention to anyone other than my sister. That's just what I did too. Besides, Stan and Shelly didn't seem to want to talk to us either. Eventually, our conversation shifted to the two of them.

‘What do you think about them?’

‘I don't know, they're kinda odd.’

I glanced at Stan. He was kinda hot? Not that I’d date a guy like him, but he was a catch, no doubt. He didn't seem like he was one to date another guy himself. I, on the other hand, was a proud, bisexual man. Of course I didn't voice it much. I'd never dated anyone before, since I have always been locked up in my room the whole time, but there was a first time for everything. I was able to catch myself from staring too long, and I turned my attention back to my sister. It seemed like hours they stayed, but really, they only stayed for about forty five minutes. Julianna and I waved goodbye to them as they left, and our mother sighed and turned back to us. 

“Now, it's getting late! You, off to bed. You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow!” She said to me.

That's right… Tomorrow was my first day of school. Real school! Just the thought of it made me anxious. I went upstairs to my room, which was barely decorated. I had plans on how I want to paint the walls and make everything look, but right now we weren't able to do that since we didn't have anything with us at the moment. I got ready for bed as if it was any other day in back in Wales, except this time I would be waking up in South Park, thousands of miles away from Wales. I took my medication and crawled into bed, shutting the lights off and staring up at my ceiling. It was hard to fall asleep that night, but I managed. A part of me hoped I wouldn't wake up in the morning, but against my better judgement I kept the thoughts down. I turned over, snuggling close in the sheets. I drifted off into a dreamless sleep, hoping that the next day would go smoothly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!TRIGGER WARNING!!!
> 
> This chapter contains SELF HARM, DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. and SELF IMAGE HATRED!!!
> 
> Reader discretion is advised!
> 
> You will also see more of the other characters, all of which have my own little spin on them (design wise). Enjoy!

That night was hard, yes, but I have to say the morning was even harder. I was awoken by my angry alarm screaming at me from across the room, and not only that, by not even a second later my mother burst through my door.

"Jacie~! Get up, get up, get up! It's time for school!" She sang, her voice sickly sweet.

God, she was always such a morning person. I followed after my father, whereas I hated mornings. I just wanted to cuddle close to the sheets and fall back...

"Jason!" My mum snapped and she slapped me with a pillow. "Wake up!"

I threw off my covers, angry. My sleep schedule was off too. I should still be asleep right now! I would be if we were still in Wales... I sat up, running a hand through my hair and threw my legs off the side of the bed, getting up and trudging over to the bathroom and locking the door. God... I wasn't ready. At least she was driving me to school and I didn't have to ride the bus. I knew that the moment I step on that bus that I'd be prompted with thousands of questions or comments, all of which I can't answer. I'd rather cherish my last few moments of peace and quiet until my life was rocked in the worst way possible. I sighed and stripped down to my boxers and looked over my body in the mirror. I scowled. 

'Fucking disgusting...' I thought to myself, looking my body up and down.

I had a thin and bony top. You could see my ribs and bones in my wrists and fingers. God. Don't even get me started on my wrists. Both of them were slashed up and covered with bloody bandages from the years of dealing with the fact that I'm nothing but a burden on everyone around me and that I was destined to be alone. In fact, that was what I was most afraid of. I didn't want to be alone. I grew up depending on people, so for me to suddenly be alone in life scares me. I don't like change, which was why a moment hasn't passed in this town that I didn't wish that I could just end it all. But I know if I do end it all then it'd be the breaking point of my mother. Of my sister. Of my family. I tried once, and obviously, I failed. That's how I ended up in therapy, which did help. A lot, actually. But for now, I'd rather live with the nasty scars and bruised wrists than the damage I'd cause. I gripped the end of the frail bandages and I bit my lip, jerking my wrist back and pulling off the white fabric, and with the fabric came the scabs. The clean lines in my pale skin prickled red as they bled softly. They were days old, so they should be nothing more but scars in the making in a few days. I unraveled them entirely, letting them fall to the floor. I repeated this on my other arm before I started on the ones around my waist. My arms weren't the only places I do this. If I fill up both of my arms, then I'll start on my torso. I mostly go around my hips and stomach, being especially careful with how deep I go. I don't want to go so deep that's I cause irreversible damage to my intestines or something. I looked at my hips, which were dusted with the lines. By now they just looked like faded stretch marks. I unraveled the ones on my thighs. There weren't very many on my thighs, but there were some. They were the longest out of all of them and definitely the easiest to hide. I rubbed Neosporin on them and reapplied fresh wrapping to my legs, hips, and arms. I brushed out my hair and looked at the dark circles under my eyes. Usually, I wouldn't bother putting any kind of concealer on them or anything because I knew no one could see them through my goggles, but I had to be prepared for the fact that I would probably be told to take them off at school, so I covered them up. I got dressed back in my sleep attire and went back to my room to change into something brighter. I pulled open my closet and was met with an array of colors, all of which were either neon or patterned with some old mid-80s rave pattern. I checked my phone to see what the weather would be like. It was gonna be cold, apparently, so I dressed a bit warmer. It probably won't be as cold as it used to get in Wales, but that just means that I'll probably adjust to everything easier. I pulled out my clothes, deciding to go with something that was probably a little easier on the eyes for the first day. In other words, I strayed from the loud prints. I pulled on a bright green turtleneck, which was actually a bit too big for me so, in the right (or wrong) angle, you could see the large scar on my neck. I tugged it upwards, huffing. I struggled to get on a pair of blinding orange skinny jeans, the knees ripped and the thighs worn for the aesthetic. I topped it off with my signature jacket, which matched my hair and had stark black sleeves. I checked the time, only to see that it was too close to the time that we had to leave. Shit. I grabbed my bag, which was just a solid fluorescent yellow with black accents, and threw that over my shoulder. Inside were the basic tools I'd need for my first day. On the way out I made sure to grab my finishing accessories so I could put them on during the ride there. 

"Aw, look at you, my bright, shining boy!" My mum cooed and she kissed the top of my head before quickly ushering me out the front door. 

I climbed into the tall, banged up, grey truck. My mom got into the driver's seat and started it up with a roar. The ride there was mostly her telling me the same things. 'Be friendly!' 'Don't be a stranger!' 'Don't worry!' Yeah, as if any of that was going to help. I fumbled to put on my rings and bracelets and my ear piercings. Once that was done I stopped to slip my wallet into my pocket and clip the connecting chain to the back of my waistband. Once I completed this almost impossible task, I sat back and sighed deeply, taking a moment to relax. However, that moment was short-lived, as I soon became aware of the fact that we'd stopped behind a school bus in the front of the school. I put my bright yellow headphones around my neck and secured my goggles on top of my head. 

"Good luck Baby! I'll be right here to pick you up afterward, okay?" She pulled me over the center console and kissed my head.

I smiled lightly and kissed her cheek, giving a curt nod in response. I unbuckled and watched as the students got off the bus. I saw the neighbor boy, Stan, get off with some other kids. They must be his friends. They sure were a sight, the four of them together. I swallowed hard and pulled my goggles down over my eyes and flicked up my hood. Well, it was now or never. I opened the door and hopped out. The moment my feet hit the snow I felt as the world stopped. My head spun as I grabbed my bag, putting it on my shoulder. I looked up to see my mum flash me one final smile. I smiled back and closed the door. I turned and looked at everyone. The girls had stopped and were making it obvious they were talking about how I was dressed. Wendy was among them and it made me sad to see that someone I thought was so nice could change in a moment. There were also guys who were making fun of me already. I looked down and pulled my headphones over my ears and pressed play. I walked to the beat of the music that played, the world around me melting away the moment the bass flooded my senses. I relaxed. Maybe today wouldn't be that bad. I looked up when I entered the school itself. The atmosphere was different now that other students were active in the halls. It was honestly kind of scary. I mean, I've never interacted with anyone else before, especially not with so many other people. Things were starting to look up, that was until someone stopped me. Someone grabbed my shoulder, and I jumped immediately and whipped around, pulling my headphones off. It was Jimmy. I relaxed, letting out the breath I didn't know I was holding.

"W-Woah Dude! No need to be so j-j-jumpy!" He smiled at me. 

I let out a silent chuckle and paused my music. It was good to see a familiar face in this sea of uncertainty. 

"C-Come on. Let me i-introduce you to the o-others!" He said happily and started to lead me down the hall back to the courtyard. Had he been following me this entire time and I didn't even know? Oh, fuck! How embarrassing-!

He leads me directly up to a group of rowdy guys. Well, one was rowdy. He was shorter than the rest of them, and the back of his jacket read 'Donovan'. He had medium length brown hair, and his skin was dotted with freckles. His chocolate eyes were bright and alight with energy. He was messing around with a tall, thin boy who was dressed like a damn bruise. It was black and blue from head to toe. The only other color than those two were the small hints of yellow in his hat and gloves. Every time 'Donovan' would jump or shout, it would cause a bony boy next to Mr. Bruise to jump or yelp himself. He looked absolutely /fucked/. I'd never seen eye bags darker than his. His cheeks were sunken in a bit and his golden hair was absolutely out of control. He was covered in band-aids and his nails were covered in chipped black paint. His clothes were disorderly too. He chewed on his lip, and he glanced at the boy on his other side. He was about as tall as the bruised boy, and his skin was dark. He had a huge 'T' plastered on his shirt, which I found rather humorous. He was rather silent, so he seemed to be the most mature out of them. Jimmy hobbled up to them.

"H-Hey you guys! I want you t-t-to meet Jas-Jas-Jaseeeh.."

Donovan stopped and he looked over at Jimmy, then at me. Bruise raised an eyebrow in confusion. I met Donovan's eyes and I flushed. I put a hand on Jimmy's shoulder, almost as a way of telling him he could do it.

"J-J-J-Jason!" He finally managed and he smiled triumphantly.

I smiled softly and removed my hand from his shoulder. Donovan waltzed up to me and held up his hand, almost like he wanted to arm wrestle. I gave him a look of pure confusion. I hesitantly raised my hand and clasped his, and he pulled me in quickly, almost like a hug, and he slapped my back. I flinched and moved away quickly. My heart was pounding. I wasn't used to this kind of treatment before.

"Whaddup Man!" He greeted and smiled. 

"J-Jason, this is Clyde. That th-there is Token, and T-Tweek and Craig." Jimmy told me.

Okay, so Bruise Boy was Craig, the jumpy zombie was Tweek, T-man was Token, and Donovan was Clyde. That seemed easy enough. I raised my hand to my brow and flicked my wrist out to them, much like I did to the Marshes when they visited. The only difference was this time, I smiled when I did it. 

"So this is the kid you escorted around yesterday?" Token asked Jimmy, who nodded.

"Y-Yeah! He's from W-Wales!"

"W-Wales?! AUgh! That's really far away, man!" Tweek shook slightly. I understood why. He was in only a plaid green flannel and ripped black jeans. He must be freezing.

"You sure are...bright," Craig muttered, taking his sweet time in choosing the word to describe me. Dick.

"He said it was f-for the aesth-ae-aesthetic of it all," Jimmy told him.

I shrugged. They didn't seem all too bad. So far Jimmy had been able to respond to everything they'd said, but I knew more was going to come, which I would have to address on my own. Things resumed with the group as if nothing had even happened. I kind of just stayed there, watching them mess around. It was strange, seeing how other guys my age acted with each other. I started to scan the courtyard. Everyone was doing their own thing now. They weren't even paying any mind to me. I was glad that they didn't seem to care much. My eye landed on Stan and his friends again. Heidi was with them now, laughing with the fat one in the red. She was laughing a lot about something, and so did he. Stan was talking with the other two. It wasn't until Heidi pointed directly at me that it became clear that I was the one they were laughing at. My face heated up and I looked away in shame. I put my headphones on again and let the music play. I still watched the others, but now I started to feel more uncomfortable. We're they all laughing at me? Were Jimmy and the others silently judging me too? What if they didn't actually like me... I knew I was just a burden. My thoughts were racing, and it wasn't until Token snapped in my face that I broke out of it. He said something to me.

'You alright Dude?' 

'He can't hear us.'

Without thinking, I moved my arms. I held up my pinky, then balled my fists and flicked them down, quickly followed by me putting my thumb to my ear and bending my index and middle fingers, then pointed at them. It happened really fast too, and they looked at me astonished. Had they never... Had they never encountered anyone who spoke sign language before?

"Woah..." Clyde whistled. "Wait, what's that mean?" He asked.

I quickly slipped my phone from my pocket and pulled up the notes app again. 

'It means 'I can hear you'.' I wrote out and showed it to them. Well, I might as well tell them now. 'It's sign language. It's more advanced than just making letters with your hands. I'm mute, so I can't speak or make any noise for that matter. I mean, I can make noise with my body and stuff, but not vocally... Sign language and lip reading is really the only thing I know.' 

I watched as they each took turns passing my phone around to read all that I had written. 

"Dude that's awesome!" Clyde blurted out suddenly. 

That took me by surprise. Actually, it made me more upset than relieved. Awesome? Not being able to communicate with anyone was awesome?! How the fuck could that be awesome! It was miserable! It was so not awesome that I'd rather be dead than live like this! How could he think-

"Jason, you o-okay?" Jimmy brought me back to reality. 

I relaxed and looked down before I nodded. I rose my fist and made the motion of knocking on a door. When I got my phone back I typed out one last thing.

'That means yes.' 

The bell rang and the guys looked toward the school. 

"M-Mr. Mackey told me y-yesterday that you have our h-h-homeroom! We'll show you there." Jimmy told me and I nodded, taking off my headphones finally.

I followed the group inside, but I stayed a pace or two behind them. I glanced around at the rooms where other students were filing into. I swallowed hard, looking up at the ceiling, trying to distract myself. I eventually followed them into a room. I was glad I already had some people who I could call my friends in there. However, I noticed that Tweek and Clyde didn't have the same class as us. I was surprised to see Craig lean down and give Tweek a chaste kiss before they parted. It was kinda sweet. The other two parted from the group and we stepped in. I didn't follow the guys to the back, instead, I walked right up to the teacher and handed him a note my mother had gotten from Mr. Mackey. It explained my situation as well of some solutions to follow. I was disturbed to see that he barely even glanced at it and just set it aside and told me to sit down. He turned to the other students. I saw Stan and all his friends. Wendy was sitting with some other girls in the back of the class. She smiled and waved, and I returned the friendly gesture. Maybe she wasn't all that bad after all. I went to the back of the class where the guys were and sat in a seat Jimmy had saved for me. I hope I wasn't intruding on them... I felt like I was, but Jimmy seemed to genuinely enjoy my company. In front of me was Wendy, to my left was a girl with bright red hair, behind me was Craig, and next to me was Jimmy. Token was next to Craig. I tried not to draw too much attention to myself at first, but that was thrown out the window when Wendy turned right to me. 

"Hey, how's your first day been so far?" She asked.

I smiled and I got out a notebook, writing out a response.

'Good. Thanks for asking.'

The other girls giggled at my way of response, and I felt self-conscious about it. Wendy giggled too.

"Well, if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask!" She said.

'Thanks. I'll remember that.' I wrote before she turned back around.

I crossed out the writing, minding my business until Craig announced something that not only got my attention but the rest of the classes as well.

"You got a fucking problem, Marsh?" He barked, and the class fell silent.

All eyes landed on Stan. He looked angry with...Me? Why me? When I met his gaze, he looked back at Craig.

"No."

"Then fuck off, already," Craig told him. 

I looked at the others, obviously questioning the hostility, 

"Wendy is Stan's girlfriend." Token whispered.

I nodded slowly in understanding. 'Oh...' I mouthed.

I didn't want to make any enemies, well, at least not on the first day. I turned back to the front of the classroom and the teacher got started. 

“Alright class, let's get started. We have a new student today, his name is Jason and I hope you all will treat him with kindness and respect.” He said, disinterested.

“Uhm, Mr. Garrison!” Heidi piped up. This wouldn't end well.

“Yes Heidi?”

“Aren’t you gonna make him tell us about himself? You made all of us do it!” She said, obviously having malicious intent to her comment.

He sighed. “Very well. Stand up and tell us a little about yourself.” 

I choked up. I froze. Everyone was watching me. They were waiting for something to happen. Something that wasn't gonna happen. Something that could never happen! I did the only thing I could think of. I shook my head. 

“Oh come on, don't be shy.” He said, annoyed. 

Fuck, now he was getting annoyed with me! I picked up the pencil and quickly wrote down a few things about me. Token seemed to understand what I was getting at and he stood up with me, taking the pad of paper and reading what I wrote.

“Hello. My name is Jason Blaine and I was born and raised in Wales. I compose music and I have been since I was nine. But most importantly, I'm mute, which means that I don't have the ability to speak. I do know how to speak sign language and read lips, so if you ever catch me staring, I'm sorry.” Token read, and the entire time I moved my hands and arms as I spoke what he read in sign language. 

Mr. Garrison nodded and Token handed me the notebook and we both sat down. Everyone still watched me. I flushed with embarrassment and shrunk down in my seat a bit. It was awkward having everyone look at me. They all turned back around though when Mr. Garrison started teaching, or, what I could only assume was teaching. He just went on about celebrity love affairs and babies and such. What the hell was up with him? This wasn't like anything Mum taught me. Did I need to know this…? I glanced around. Everyone else seemed to be doing their own thing. Girls were filing their nails, guys were dozing off or carving stuff into the desks. What was going on? The only thing I understood was when he assigned us book work. Jimmy let me borrow his textbook until I was able to check out my own from the library. I finished before everyone else did, and I kind of waited to see what someone else would do. A girl with bright red hair got up and turned it into a basket, and three other students followed. I hesitated, but got up and did as they did. Okay. So far so good. I took a glance at my schedule, trying to mentally prepare myself for the next class and the ones that followed. As everyone finished up, things seemed to go smoothly. Everything was a breeze for everyone else but I was struggling to even do something as normal as turn in a damn piece of paper. 

When the bell rang for the next class I got up, waiting for the other guys. We eventually all parted ways when we left, and I gave them small waves before starting to weave my way through the halls. Dammit. I should have made them go over my schedule with me the day before. Needless to say, I wound up late to my second period. I stepped in and tried to close the door as quietly as I could, but that only drew more attention to me. I pulled out another copy of the paper I handed Mr. Garrison at the beginning of class and handed it to the woman who was writing on the chalkboard. She looked over it and nodded. 

“Class, this is Jason. He's new. Jason, go ahead and have a seat next to Butters.” She said and pointed to a kid.

He seemed like a bubbly and rather friendly kid. He was blonde with a messy undercut, and a scar over his left eye. It was paler than his right, with lead me to believe he was blind in that eye. He had freckles and a chubby face. I set my bag down in the desk next to him, and he waved at me with the biggest smile I've ever seen on a kid. I gave a small wave back as I sat down. The woman continued teaching as if nothing had happened. All of the classes seemed to go the same. We'd get lectured, then assigned book work, then had the rest of the time to ourselves. I actually didn't have as much homework as my sister had told me I would. 

When lunch rolled around I was a hot mess. I had absolutely no idea what to do, and the fact that the entire school was confined to one room made me want to barf. I sat in the hall outside, actually. I was too scared to go in. I didn't want to face everyone. I didn't know what I’d do. I've already made a fool of myself in all of my other classes, I didn't need to do it in there too. I soon got bored of just sitting there and I got up and started in search for a place to hide out. I wasn't the only person who didn't want to eat in the cafeteria. Groups of students sat in the halls and at little study tables as well. Outside there were more kids, all seeming to have their own little group. I was the only one who was alone. I found a nice place out in the courtyard to settle down and I pulled out my launch pad from my bag. It was one of many, but the only one I felt comfortable taking outside my house. It had arrived with a damaged casing, which was the only reason I didn't mind if it got beaten up a bit more. I still took good care of it though, keeping it in its own little case and making sure it wasn't in any place where it could get completely destroyed or broken beyond use. I plugged in my headphones to it, playing back what I had on the SD card already to get a refresher on what I’d been working on beforehand. I was just about to get started working on it when I was approached by someone. No, two people. I looked up to find that it was Heidi and the other fat kid from Stan’s group. 

“You think you have everyone fooled, don't you?” She said. “I know what you're doing! You're faking it to get out of your work, aren't you?” 

I… Faking it?! Why on Earth would anyone want to fake something like this?! 

“I read what all you're excused from! Presentations, speeches, oral tests! You think you got it made, but I can see right through your little game!” She kept on. She didn't stop. 

My eyes teared up as I was overwhelmed with so many emotions. Shame, anger, embarrassment! I got up and grabbed my bag, pushing through the two of them and running away. I felt hot, achy. Everything hurt. I ran back into the school, trying to find a way out. I just kept hearing her words in my head. ‘Faking it! Faking it!’ But I wasn't! Everything was going so well, or as well as it could! But now I felt like shit! What am I saying, I've always felt like shit! There's never been a time where I haven't felt like an absolute failure and just a waste of space. I ran through the halls, and due to my own blindness I collided with someone. Both of out things went flying. My bag dropped, their papers went flying, my pad clattered to the floor and their books tumbled after it. I fell on top of them, and I got up immediately. 

“H-Hey! Are you okay?” They asked.

I finally took a moment to try and collect myself and I looked down at the person on the floor. It was a boy, with wavy auburn hair that was perfectly parted to the side, and bright, sparkling teal eyes. He had a perfect complexion with soft freckles. He was dressed sharper than some of the other students. He had a plush ocean green sweater, a crisp white undershirt and pressed khakis. He looked so kind and gentle… I felt my face heat up and I jutted my hand out to him to help him up. He took it and I pulled him up. 

“Are you okay…?” He asked again. “You're...crying.” He pointed out. He reached up and took off my goggles, setting them on my head. “What happened?”

I swallowed hard and shook my head. I took my phone out and quickly typed. He watched me. 

‘I'm sorry. You're not hurt, are you?’

“No, I'm not.”

‘That’s good. Let me help you clean up.’ 

I got down on my knees and started to pick up his books and papers. He did the same with my stuff. We exchanged our things and he smiled at me, holding his hand out for me to shake.

“I'm Mark.” He smiled as I shook his hand. I went for my phone when he cut me off. “Oh, don't bother. I know who you are. You're Jason, the new boy.” 

How did he…?

“We have third period together.” He said.

Shit. That's how he knew. I found myself walking with him. I couldn't stop watching him. His every move fascinated me to the point where it was kinda creepy. We settled down in a corner by a pay near the gym for the last ten or fifteen minutes of lunch. Now that I think about it, it's kinda weird for a high school to have a pay phone. 

“So, Jason,” Oh my name sounded so good coming from him. “Will you tell me what happened now?” He asked.

I swallowed and got out a pad of paper, starting to recount what had just happened. He got close to me, reading over my shoulder as I wrote. 

“Oh dear… I'm sorry that happened. Try...try not to think too much about it. Eric and Heidi are always out to torment others.” He said. “Mostly Heidi though. It's sad, she never used to be like this.”

I gave him a look, silently asking him to go on.

“Well, this school is kind of crazy… She and him started dating after she committed ‘social suicide’, or she basically just got off of social media.” He went on. 

I was so fascinated with not only the story, but him. I started noticing these small things about him. He would talk with his hands sometimes, and he blinked a lot when he got into a story. He was very expressional when he told stories too.

“I don't particularly like the other people they hang out with either.” 

I cocked my head in interest.

“Well, a few years back, Kyle, the tall one with the green hat, he kissed my sister, and it turned her into an absolute whore.” I flinched at the harsh word choice coming from someone like him. “I mean, I beat him up for it, but that doesn't mean I have to like him afterward.” He laughed softly.

I smiled and nodded. I wished we could have stayed there and talked forever, but all good things come to an end, I guess. The bell rang, signalling the end of lunch. I stood up and helped him up as well. 

“This was nice, Jason. I hope you have a better rest of your day.” He said and I nodded.

Before he could walk off I stopped him. I quickly wrote down my phone number on a piece of paper along with a short message. 

‘This was nice… I want to do it again some time.’ 

He took the paper and blushed lightly before he smiled and nodded. “Maybe we could eat lunch together tomorrow?” He offered, and I eagerly nodded. “Okay, I'll meet you back here tomorrow then.” He said and I watched as he walked off.

It took me awhile to compose myself, but once I did my entire face turned red and I smiled widely. God, he sure was something. I made it through the rest of my classes, the whole day a blur after that. In my last class, I had the guys in there with me.

“Yo, Jason, where were you at lunch?” Clyde asked me.

‘You mean y'all actually wanted me to sit with y'all…?’ I wrote.

“Of c-c-course! You're one of u-us now!” Jimmy piped in, and I smiled.

‘Thanks, but to answer your question, I got kinda scared and ran off. Then Heidi and her bitch ass boyfriend cornered me and I ran off again. I ended up spending the rest of lunch with this guy Mark-’

Craig cut me off from writing. “Wait, Mark?” 

“Cotswolds?!” Tweek chirped.

I nodded, blinking in confusion. ‘Is there something bad about that?’

“Uhm, only that he's a totally dweeb.” Craig answered.

‘He’s not that bad. He's really nice actually.’

“Of course. He's a goody-two-shoes. They're all the same.” Craig said and Clyde nodded in agreement. 

It kind of got me upset about what they were saying, and apparently I'm not as good as hiding mg emotions as I think I am, because Token picked up on it again. Or maybe he was just really intuitive. Either way, he knew I was upset. 

‘Well I like him.’ I wrote down before Token quickly changed the subject.

I was glad he did. I didn't understand what Craig and the other guys had against him, but I preferred not to press it. The final bell rang and everyone flooded out of the school. I waved goodbye to everyone and they waved or called back before I got into my mum’s truck. At the sight of me doing such a thing, she was instantly ecstatic.

“I take it it was a good day?!” She asked loudly and I nodded. 

‘I'll tell you more about it at home.’ I signed and she nodded, starting the car and rushing home. 

When we got there, I retold the day to my entire family, and my mum teared up at hearing it. Not because of what Heidi and Eric did (I thought it was best to leave that part out), but because I had made so many friends despite my condition. 

“Oh, my boy is growing up-!” She choked out and hugged me tightly. 

Soon enough my sister and dad joined her as well. I laughed silently and smiled. For once, I didn't feel so bad about myself. If it hadn't had been for what happened with the two at lunch, I’d say it was a rather successful day. Once the tears and stories were over with, I went upstairs to work on my homework before down to the basement to work on my music until dinner. After dinner I took a shower and got ready for bed. I looked in the mirror after I brushed my teeth. My sister was right, my roots were showing more than I thought. I’d have to swing my the store this weekend to pick up some hair dye. I said my goodnights and went to lay in bed. It was still hard to fall asleep because of the time changes, but now that I knew what I was in for the next day, it wasn't half as bad as the night before was.


End file.
